I used to hate people who wrote blog posts like this. You know, the ones that have a big fat N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T-I-C written all over it.
What? Love Your Inner Freak? Who falls in love with that?
But lately, I just can’t help but become one of these people.
Because I’m finding out that there is no other way forward.
I have to make peace with who I am.
And as much as I’d like to ONLY tell you all about the beautiful easy-to-accept parts of me, you know, the stuff that is easy to digest publicly without cause for vomit or tears of pity, it’s not all of who I am.
The truth is, I am probably a 100% freak.
And you probably are too.
FREAK: one that is markedly unusual or abnormal.
I.e. your true self that cannot be tamed or contained by Mr.(Social) Norms.
Damn it. I try so hard to be normal.
And I often fail. Terribly.
And then I realize that we all do. Fail at hiding our true freak nature.
Which is really awesome.
Because why hide our true colors? Why hide the real beauty behind the facade that looks like everyone else?
Oh I know!
It’s the only way to keep us safe.
See once upon a time, when we knew nothing but our Inner freak, we met a bunch of people who were oblivious to theirs. Namely our parents and pretty much every other adult who had successfully shun theirs. (Because it was the only way they’ve learned to live, see.) Our inner freaks teased theirs out of hiding. The horrors! Kill your inner freak or die alone! So they had no choice but squelch it out of us before it was too late.
And who wants to be alone?
But here’s what I’m realizing…it’s all a lie.
You won’t die alone.
You do, however, get to live alone.
But not for long.
Reclaiming our inner freaks in many respects is a solo journey. No one else can make the trip to hell but us.
The trip to hell is necessary because it’s where we bury our inner freaks.
And then we discover that we were never alone in the descent.
Because many others are waking up to the beauty of their inner freaks and head straight to hell to get theirs back.
And because there’s this Thing-that-cannot-be-Named (not in a Voldemort way…he is a sad dude who never learned to love his inner freak). This Thing that has always had a soft spot for all the things you sent to hell. It makes Her sad to see your inner freak burn.
The thing is, once we reunite with our inner freak, we start to really live.
And we begin to see others are just like us, wholly magnificent creatures who just need to get their inner freak back.
It’s time to fall in love with every thing you’ve always hated about you…every thing you’ve ever been ashamed of or embarrassed by.
Because the truth of the matter is this:
There is no Shame my dear.
There is only Love.