Some days, I write (and live) from the heart. And sadly, some days, I write (and live) from a place of perceived identity, of illusions and expectations of who I am supposed to be.
And I was thankfully reminded lately that writing (and living) that way divides the Self – resulting in Confusion, Depression and all sorts of Life-Sucking Addictions. Writing (and living) that way hurts and harms my Soul. Trying to be Someone I’m not is yet another tired old message added to the thousands of times I’ve told Myself in so many ways: You Are Not Enough.
The most common form of despair is not being who you are…Søren Kierkegaard
I wonder where we get these messages that compel us to hide who we truly are. When does the Pretense start?
Perhaps it was the way we were raised, where we had to learn to be Obedient and live up to our parent’s expectations as the most significant way we can earn their approval and affirmation. We learned to be Who they want us to be most especially when we were punished when we were simply being who we are (and in many instances, we really were just being children and our parents totally blanked out and forgot what it was like.) Our first initiation to a Life of Pretense.
And then everything else, school, friends, religion, conspired to hide us behind a mask of sorts. Until we don’t even know what we look like.
To be nobody but myself-in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me somebody else-means to fight the hardest battle any human can fight, and never stop fighting. e.e. cummings
Perhaps our most important task then as mothers, as sisters, as wives, as women, is to move from Pretense to Presence. To come home fully to ourselves, and show up in the world just as we are – sorta brilliant and sorta broken. Because Pretense can only breed Pretense. And our children do not need to start wearing masks at such a young age. Actually, they don’t need to be wearing any masks at all, not now or ever.
And the unmasking begins with me.
So…how are you unmasking today?